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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Do You Love Your Adopted Child?

Do you have any adopted child? How much do you care for your adopted child? Do you treat her as your own child? Do you let her know that you are not the biological parent? If your adopted child makes mistake and maybe not intentionally the child nagged or fights back if scolded, how are you going to deal with it? Can you still understand that that is just a part of parent/child relationship and it can easily be patched up?


Lots and lots of questions that I think endless answers based on experiences of each adoptive parent. Lots and lots of stories about adoptive parent and adoptive child relationships. Some are scary when either the adoptive parent is maltreating the adopted child or the adoptive child is ungrateful to the adoptive parent. Some are horrifying if the adoptive child is a violent child and harm or even kill the adoptive parent or vice versa. And some have a good parent and child relationship regardless of no blood relationship or not a biological child or parent.

After five years of marriage I got pregnant but unfortunately I had a miscarriage so I was childless until GOD had given me my adopted child 6 years after my miscarriage. She was a cute baby girl with curly hair and beautiful eyes. That was the start of my being a mother. I believe that through child instinct given by GOD, any infant can feel if he/she is being loved and sincerely taken cared of.

As my baby grew up, at the age of 2, I started to teach her the do's and the don'ts. I remember one time my friend told me that it was still too early for me to teach my child that way because as the child grow up he/she will learn by themselves. My belief though at that time was if I teach my child the right and wrong while growing up she will register that in her mind and she will always remember what I taught her  though as a child I will not expect that she can follow all what I am teaching her.

At the age of 5 I told her that I am not her biological mother. At first she was shocked and cried and want to see her real mother. It was like a sharp knife stubbed in my heart but I tried to control myself and nicely told her that when the right time comes I will let her meet her real mother. However, I did not change the way I treated her, instead, all the more I let her feel that I really love her as my real daughter. I always tell her that she is the best gift that GOD gave me and she comes from my heart. Last year at the age of 10 she met her real mother and her real father. She was happy that she met her mom, her dad, her sister and her grand parents but she said "thank you Mama for letting me meet my real mother and my sister and my family but Mama I love you very, very much and you are the best mother in the world". That's the exact words of my daughter which I can't hold back my tears and I just hugged her so tight.

I always tell her that the happiness that she gave me when she came into my life is real happiness. That the love that I'm giving her is an unconditional love because I'm not expecting anything in return from her. I put in my mind that if one day she chooses to be with her real mother I will give her all the freedom. Not because I don't love her but because I want her to be happy.

In that way my daughter grew to be a good and loving daughter. At the age of 10 1/2 now, it is a music to my ear every time she tells me that she really loves me, that I am the best mother in the world, that although I am not her biological mother I am her real mother because she comes from my heart. She is so caring and so loving and she always appreciates whatever good things I do for her.

This is my story with my adopted daughter...the best gift of GOD to me. Any story that you can share?


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