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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

You Want To be Your Child's Best Friend? Part ll

Year 6 - This is another chapter of a child and parent relationship that it is with the mother where the weight of the responsibility is mostly placed upon, especially if the child is a girl...like myself :) After you teach the do's and don'ts to your child at your child's early age, she can obey you, but as she grow, her curiosity of knowing more of the things around her
by herself makes her disobey you most of the time. Your child will express her emotion regardless of how you accept it. 

I am a disciplinarian but I realized that I have to learn how to respond with her emotions without appearing to be stern. It took me sometime before I was able to accept that I need to place myself (first) in her shoes so I can understand her. I have to accept that I was also at the same situation like her in the past. The only difference is I lost my mother when I was her age. Tips: Forget your pride, you have to forget first that you are the mother and you are the only one that knows what's best. The more you insist your own principle with your child, the more she resent you...it might not be in in front of you but it boils down deep inside her and that will not be good to both of you.

There are times that you just let her do what she thinks is right (this depends on a situation) but be on guard. Over protective to your child is not also good because she can't experience to make decision for herself. It is important to allow her to do things by herself, make mistakes to learn so she can slowly develop a good principle in life that she needs at her growing stage. You cannot predict how much time you will be by her side. It's important then to prepare her by allowing her to do some disposition that she thinks is right. However, make yourself ready in any event when she gets hurt or emotionally affected, that you are always be by her side to comfort her. Let her experience the setback of her mistakes, or her happiness if she does the right thing. You don't need to scold her always if she makes mistake. Weigh her mistake and use wisdom to determine the right thing to do. In that way she will realize that she can be open to you on everything that she does...be it right or wrong. Then you have the chance to get involve with her emotional growth and you will know when is the right time to say the right word.  Tell her that in very effect there is always a cause. "Law of Cause and Effect".

Since this is the time of her emotional growth, teach her slowly the facts about life. This is a subject that she cannot learn from school because at school they teach academics not the lesson of the reality of life. 

I always have time to teach my daughter the subject about life every time I send and pick her up from school. It's only the two of us inside the car and I have all the time to talk to her while driving. Since I trained her not to interrupt while I'm talking, she does not have any choice but to listen to all what I'm saying, she can't escape anyway :) I feel that deep inside she is bored to all my blah blah :) but I just ignore. The most important for me is to give her the right guidance that she will use on her journey to life. She might not immediately understand or realize that what I'm doing is for her own good but I believe she will sooner of later, and I'm right...that I will explain later.

There are some changes for your child's behavior from year 6 to year 12 but not really. As soon as you had already taught her the right thing to do, not much misunderstanding to both of you during that period. 

Year 13 in my next post. Thanks folks for the visit and patience in reading my post. God Bless...

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